A Haven All Their Own
by RachoeyFan
Summary: CHAPTER 8 IS FINALLY UP! This is a replacement Season 7 for 'Friends.' JnR. Ross and Elaine, (and more coming soon...) Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. Bright, Kauffman, and Crane do.
1. Prologue: TOW Rachel's Thoughts

The night was about Monica. She had lots to celebrate. Her day had finally come; she was engaged. It meant the world to Rachel that Monica was happy. The engagement couldn't have happened to a better person and with a better person, Chandler. They were meant for each other, but no one would've known it 3 years ago. They were friends, practically inseperable. They sat close to each other and even they overlooked such actions. Friends falling in love. This appealed to Rachel.  
She had fallen for a friend before. Ross had a love for her that grew year after year since the 9th grade. After Ross, she had trouble with guys and love seemed to be absent. The one thing that was missing in her life. Would she ever find someone that would change her view on guys and fill the void that has long been vacant?  
Rachel was taking a nap before further celebrating Monica's engagement at The Plaza. Rachel didn't want to go. She had wished that this would be her engagement. Nothing felt more satisfying then commitment and the term "growing old together." Rachel wanted someone she could spend the rest of her life with. She wanted no more mind games and manipulation from boyfriends. She wanted to snuggle in her husbands arms and take in the smell of his clean scent. She wanted to wake up in the arms of someone who won't go darting off because they are afraid to commit.  
  
"Rach. Wake up." Joey shook her to get her up. Rach turned to see Joey. "We're leaving."  
  
Joey. Her roommate, her friend. He had always been there for her. He would do anything for her. She had a crush on him in the beginning of their friendship. Who wouldn't? He was an attractive Italian, who was tall, dark, and handsome. The way he smelled after he stepped out of the shower brought Rachel to her knees. He had the looks down, but he wasn't too bright. Thinking can be a hard process for him, but thats what his friends loved about him.  
  
"I'm coming." Rachel said in a sleepy voice.  
  
Rachel made her way out the door of her bedroom. She walked to the bathroom that she and Joey shared. The towel that Joey leaves under the sink, rolled up into a ball always annoyed her, but she got used to it after a while. The bathroom was fresh from him taking a shower. She felt her knees go weak from the intoxicating scent that she loved. She wiped the mirror that was covered in exhaust. She stared in the mirror and applied some make up. She paused in the middle of appling her mascara. She didn't feel the need to beatuify herself tonight. It wasn't her night it was Monica's night. 


	2. TOW The Champagne Party

Authors Note: I edited this chapter slightly because I forgot to indent because I wrote this at like 12:00 in the morning. So same chapter just indented. Keep reviewing!  
  
"This place is so expensive looking. I smell someone thats gonna spend alot of money on champagne tonight." Monica said to Chandler with much enthusiasm  
"And I smell someone that'll spend even more money on a big, lavish party known as our wedding." Chandler said with his usual sarcastic tone.  
"Honey, don't call our wedding a party anymore or you might not get invited to it."  
  
The hotel is truly a wonderment. The beauty and history behind it is beyond words. The place was clean and brightly lit by dangling chandeliers. The floor was so spotless, you could see your reflection about two times over. Bellhops hustled their way through the lobby, dragging carts full of luggage. The receptionists checked in and out the prestigious guests that stayed in the luxurious rooms.  
  
"Oh. Free pastries!" Joey yelled. He proceeded to the cart of free pastries by The Oak Room.  
"Hey Ross, aren't you gonna go over to the free pastries?" Chandler asked.  
"Nah." Ross replied. He thought about it for a moment, scoffed, and then made his way to the cart.  
"You know what this place reminds me of?" Phoebe asked.  
"What Pheebs?" Rachel questioned  
"A place where you can watch bags of luggage fly around, and you can see yourself on the floor, and, and, a place where you can walk in at anytime."  
"But, Pheebs. That's exactly what this place is."  
"Oh really? Where's the flying luggage?" Phoebe said.  
  
"So Ross, any luck lately with the whole theory and all?" Joey questioned as he took a bite out of a French pastry.  
"Not so good. I tried to prove a different theory other than the one that Mary Leaky--" Ross said finishing up his pastry.  
"Mary Leaky? There's a woman involved? You should introduce me."  
"Um, I would, but Mary Leaky is dead."  
"Oh. Well, too bad for her."  
  
The rest of the gang met up with them and all of them made their way to The Oak Room. The room was plush with dark wood walls. The carpet was old-fashioned and seemed to have never been touched.  
  
"Would you care in serving us some champagne?" Chandler said in a rich man manner.  
"Sure. No problem." The bartender said, a little confused.  
"See? You get your way when you play along." Chandler said, convinced that he did something great. Everyone just shrugged Chandler's sense of humor. The bar tender came back with six glasses of champagne.  
"Thank you kind sir." Chandler repeated his previous tone.  
  
All six of the friends took a seat in big, comfy velvet sofa chairs.  
"Ok. I'd like to make a toast. To Monica, my wonderful fiancee. I truly think that we were destined for each other. You mean the world to me, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with you." Chandler said. All six clinked their glasses together and took a sip.  
"I'd also like to make a toast." Monica said. "To Chandler. My life, my soulmate. Nothing means more to me than you. I love you so much, and I only want to spend my future with you." Monica said. All six clinked their glasses together again and took a sip.  
"So? What do you all want to do now?" Monica said.  
"Oh! Maybe me and Rachel can go check out the cute guests that are checking in." Phoebe said with extreme excitement.  
"I don't really feel like it." Rachel said, holding her champagne glass and circling the rim of the glass.  
"Oh...well I'm gonna." Phoebe said, leaving quickly.  
"I think I'm gonna see if there are any cute guests myself." Ross said standing up, fixing his tie.  
"Yeah good luck finding him." Joey replied. Ross gave him a glare and made his way out.  
"And what are you two lovebirds gonna do?" Joey questioned.  
"I don't know. Maybe we can go for a walk in the park? Huh, Mon?" Chandler said, looking at his wife with his arm around her.  
"We could do that. Oh! Maybe we'll see a pretty place in the park where we can get married." Monica said.  
"And it's starting." Chandler replied, none too pleased. Monica and Chandler made their way out of the bar.  
"Well, I think I'm gonna go find a place to, uh, do something." Joey replied, standing up.  
"Yeah..." Rachel said sitting on the chair, legs crossed and looking upset.  
"Rach, is everything ok?" Joey said, all concerned.  
"Yeah...no its not." Rachel said, ready to burst into tears.  
"What's the matter?" Joey questioned, taking a seat next to Rachel.  
"It's just that. I'm so happy for Monica, but I feel so empty. I mean, I wish it was my engagement. I wish that I was getting married. I feel like I've accomplished nothing and I'm almost 30 years old. All I really want is someone who can grow old with me, and hold me in their arms. I just want to be the one to tell my friends what a great husband I have. I didn't want to ruin Monica's night, but this night is killing me."  
"Rach. Listen to me. You will meet somebody someday."  
"Yeah right." Rachel said, grabbing a tissue from the endtable.  
"No you will. You are smart and beautiful and someday a guy will come and be swept away by you. I look at you and think, 'wow, a guy will be lucky to have you.' I know when you moved in with me, I felt like I had someone to really share my feelings with. You never judge me and always tolerate my moments of complete stupidity. You never seize to amaze me in everything you do. The stars shine for you Rach, and someone will see them and want them. You will make some guy happy someday and a sparkle will appear in his eyes whenever someone talks about you. He'll want to keep you and never let you go. Because, Rach, you are nothing short of amazing." Joey held Rachels hand.  
Rachel looked into Joey's eyes throughout his whole speech. She felt her eyes water up, but not out of sadness, but of happiness. All the words he said truly meant the world to Rachel. He touched her in a place that no man has ever touched, even Ross never came close.  
"Really?" Rach said smiling, her eyes filling with tears.  
"Really." Joey said sincerely.  
Rachel felt her hand go numb, and she dropped her glass of champagne on the carpet.  
"Oh, shit." She said as she saw the champagne spill on the carpet. "I gotta clean this up."  
"I'll help." Joey said.  
Joey and Rachel got on their knees and started to clean up. Rachel started to scrub and so did Joey. Their faces almost touched, as if they were about to kiss. They were startled by Phoebe's outburst  
  
"Damn it, Ross!" Phoebe said walking into the bar again.  
"What? What did I do?" Ross questioned.  
"You..you sabotaged my plan."  
"What plan?"  
"The flying luggage plan." Ross gave Phoebe a confused look. "I was gonna take the luggage from the cart and see if they can fly, and then you had to come over and flirt with the guest, which the luggage belongs to." Ross still confused. "Oh, you scientists who don't believe that inanimate objects can fly." Phoebe scoffs off to a seat next to Rachel. Ross sits down next to Joey.  
  
"What's the matter with having a wedding in Central Park?" Monica questioned Chandler.  
"Well, there might be dogs in the park that day, the place is too crowded, and pigeons are unpredictable, if you catch my drift." Chandler said.  
"I just thought that a beautiful wedding outside is so right. Imagine everyone seeing us get married. They may not know us, but they know that we are happy and love each other so much, that we are willing to share it with all of New York City. Say, you'll think about it?" Monica said, holding onto Chandler's jacket collar.  
"I'll think about it. Only because you are the most beautiful woman I know and you'll probably kill me if I don't consider it." Chandler and Monica enter the Oak Room.  
"So? Is everyone looking to head home now?" Monica said. Everyone replied with yes'.  
  
Rachel decided to walk at the end of the group as they went back to their apartments. Rachel felt the wind blow in her hair. She stared up at the stars and felt amazing. "Because, Rach, you are nothing short of amazing." 


	3. TOW The Music Plays

A/N: This story is slow moving, but its for a reason. If you feel that it is too slow, please let me know because I will speed it up, but only if there is an overwhelming demand to speed it up. There is going to be some funny moments here and there with Rachel and her new developing feelings. I am trying to create an interesting sub-plot, so bare with me. Everything will get interesting and you'll hopefully enjoy it. Please Read and Review.  
  
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Rachel woke up in the morning with confusion. Was Joey the one person she'd been waiting her whole life for? Was he just being nice to her to cheer her up? How could she be falling for Joey? She thought of it as an impossible task. He was her friend and nothing more.  
Rachel got up out of bed and went into the kitchen.  
"Morning Rach." Joey said as he was taking out a box of Frosted Flakes from the cupboard.  
"Morning Joey." Rachel said, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Hey Joey?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thanks for saying all those things about me last night. They really meant alot to me."  
"I wouldn't have said them if they weren't true." Joey smiled. God how she loved that smile.  
There was a pause. Rachel stared at him in a loving way as she saw him make his usual breakfast. Daydreaming of Joey making her some breakfast. Bringing here breakfast in bed. Joey was unbeknownest to this. He saw Rachel out of the corner of his eyes.  
"Are you ok Rach? Do I have something on my face?" Joey started touching his face to see if he felt anything on it.  
Rachel snapped out of her trance. "Oh no. I was just, uh, thinking about, um....taking a bike ride today." Rachel felt the lameness of what she just said.  
"Really? I didn't know you had a bike?"  
Rachel paused, realizing that what Joey said was true. "Well, maybe I should go buy one if I want to ride one." Rachel started scratching her head. "Um, I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Rachel left to go into the bathroom, leaving a confused Joey. 'What is wrong with me?' Rachel thought as she slid against the shut door to the bathroom. She was acting as if Joey was a crush from high school. She felt so stupid. She had to try to surpress her new found crush if she wanted to act normal.  
  
It was the afternoon and Monica and Chandler were auditioning bands at a hotel. Rachel decided to tag along too to keep herself away from Joey for a while.  
"Monica, I don't want a band that only knows 80's songs. I'm afraid I might end up doing a Flock of Seagulls move." Chandler said.  
"Ok fine. I guess we'll have to keep looking for a good band." Monica said.  
The next band that came in was The Heart Shaped Travelers. They were doned in bright red suit jackets, black dress pants, and sparkling red cumberbunds.  
"Hello you fine people. My name is Tony Hart, no pun intended and I'm here to tell you...." Tony spun around and started singing "Earth Angel.".  
"Wow. That guy has a nice voice. And he's got such nice moves." Monica said. Chandler glared at her. "Oh, believe me, your moves are better." Chandler smiled and they resumed listening.  
The song finished and all three of them clapped.  
"Hey Monica, I think you might have a winner."  
"Chandler and Monica. You look like a happy couple. But you, young lady over there. I just want to say something to you." Tony started to come down from the stage and over to Rachel. Tony carried a mike and started singing to Rachel: "You know that it would be untrue, You know that I would be a liar, If I was to say to you, Girl, we couldn't get much higher." Tony started to sing in Rachels ear and whisper: "Come on baby, light my fire, Come on baby, light fire, Try to set the night on fire." Rachel started to feel uncomfortable as he tried to seduce her.  
"Ok mister, thanks for coming we'll call you if we need you." Monica said, pushing Tony away from Rachel. He almost fell backwards as she pushed him out the door. The band stared at Monica. "What? Do you think are the exception to the rules? Get outta here!" The band started to pack up and leave.  
"Monica, that whole taking charge thing, was kind of a turn on." Chandler said, putting his arms around her waist.  
"Really?" Monica said. Chandler and Monica were about to kiss.  
"Hello?" Monica and Chandler turned around. "I was practically molestated by a horny band guy." Rachel said, complaining in her seat.  
"Sorry about that." Monica said. "Well, Chandler, I think we're going to have to go with the 80's band."  
"Well, you're not gonna see me on the wedding day. You'll be seeing me." Chandler started imitating the Flock of Seagulls.  
  
"...and that is why my theory is true." Ross said, sitting down at lunch with his fellow co workers in the NYU lunch room.  
"Sure, whatever you say Geller." Dr. Jamerson said as he got up and left.  
"Believe what you want." Dr. Hanson said, grabbing his cup of coffee and leaving.  
"I thought your theory made sense." said a new teacher.  
"Really?" Ross said. "Are you new here?"  
"Yeah. I'm Dr. Elaine Krause."  
"Oh. What department do you work in?"  
"Psychology. Yeah, I thought I'd be crazy to take up something like psychology, but aren't all psychologist crazy?" Elaine said, laughing. Ross laughed.  
"So the world is run by a bunch of psychos?" Ross said. Elaine was a little confused. "Sorry that theory didn't make much sense."  
  
"Took a piece of wrapping paper  
and made it into a cape.  
Oh that boy was so smart  
If only he knew how to use tape. Lalalalala....."  
Phoebe sang, at her usual gig at Central Perk. The whole gang was there.  
"Lalalalalala. Thanks everyone. Come sign up for a free guitar lesson, after you pay me $50 dollars."  
Phoebe took a seat on the couch next to Chandler, Monica, and Joey. Ross was in the sofa chair and Rachel on a chair.  
"Hey, I've been thinking about becoming a psychic." Phoebe said, with her friends undivided attention. "I mean, I've predicted lots of things. Like that time when I said that Chandler wouldn't get laid in London? I was right!" *a/n: remember, no one knows that CnM hooked up in London until later on in the real 7th season.* "And the time when I said that Ross would get that job at NYU? I was right there too. And the time when I saw Rachel daydreaming out the window while I discuss all the times I was right when I predicted something?" Phoebe said looking over at Rachel. Everyone looked at Rachel.  
"Hmm..What?" Rachel said, oblivious to her daydreaming.  
"Rach, are you ok?" Monica asked.  
"Yeah. Never better." Rachel said, putting on a happy face.  
"So Monica, how was looking for bands today?" Joey asked.  
"Well, we had this one band where the guy had a limp when he danced, we had a full on 80's band, and one guy who tried hitting on Rachel."Monica answered.  
"But why is that the highlight of that band?" Rachel replied, offended.  
"Oh please, you could see his microphone from where I was sitting." Monica said as matter of factly.  
Ross is getting up to leave.  
"Ross, where are you going?" Chandler asked.  
"Oh. I have a date tonight."  
"Oh with who?"  
"With this professor, Elaine."  
"Oh what does she teach?" Phoebe asks  
"Psychology."  
"Oh a psycho." Phoebe said, sipping her coffee.  
Ross left to prepare for his date.  
"Well, me and Chandler should get going. We can't eat too much over the next few days. Gotta go for cake testing." Monica said, as she grabbed her bag. Chandler and Monica left.  
"I might as well get going. I have to start channeling the spirits." Phoebe said, taking her to go coffee.  
"So psychics have different channels? Like on TV?" Joey asked.  
"Yes but these are more entertaining. Bye."  
Rachel was now alone again with the one person she was trying to avoid. She didn't want to end up alone with him. She wanted to surpress these feelings that were developing. She knew though that ignoring him would lead to him questioning why she avoided him. So there was no choice. She had to talk.  
"Hey Joe, do you wanna go watch some movies with me? Since I have no one else to watch them with and if I watch a scary movie I might scream and cry and frantically go crazy---"  
"Rach, you're babbling. And of course I'll watch them with you. You're my favorite movie buddy" Rachel felt herself get all flustered.  
Rachel and Joey left. She knew that she might be heading for disaster. She knew that she shouldn't spend too much time alone with him or she might do something she will regret it.  
  
Rachel and Joey entered their apartment.  
"So what do you wanna watch Rach?" Joey said, heading over to their tape rack.  
"How about...'Scream'? Rachel kind of blurting it out. She couldn't think of anything else. Now she felt little worried that a scary movie can lead to cuddling and Joey protecting her from the horrible guts and blood on TV.  
"Sure." Joey said. Rachel kind of cringed when he agreed.  
"I'll make popcorn." Rachel said.  
"I'll rewind the tape. I can't believe we always forget to do that."  
"No Joey. You always forget to do that." ' But you never forget how to get to my heart.'  
As soon as the popcorn was done, Rachel and Joey started the movie. Rachel felt that this would be a long night. A long night that she dreaded.  
  
**************************************************************************** ***** A/N: My madness will be explained in the upcoming chapters. Trust me. Please read and review! It's very important to me. 


	4. TOW All The Cake

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the positive feedback. I plan on keeping it at this pace. The next chapter is very interesting and you will enjoy my quirky way of getting JnR together. I'll try to make my chapters longer. I'm trying to do a chapter a day to keep people satisfied. I hope you enjoy! Please read and review! **************************************************************************** ****  
  
It is now 9:30. Joey and Rachel have been watching 'Scream' for a while now. Rachel has since cuddled up to Joey on the La-Z-Boy. She sat in his lap, curled up in a ball, looking away from the TV.  
"I don't know why you wanna watch this movie." Rachel said, hiding in Joey's chest.  
"You're the one who wanted to watch this. You're the one that said 'how about...Scream?'"Joey said, as if imitating Rachel.  
"Well, wouldn't you know that I would get scared and hide?"  
"But you know that I'll protect you from all that." Joey said, smiling and caressing her hair.  
Rachel felt her legs go numb. She felt so giddy and tingly all over. She saw the light from the TV reflect off of Joey's face. She felt so secure in Joey's arms. She knew that he would never hurt her.  
"I can't feel my legs." Rachel said, after being curled up for so long. She stood up and shook her legs out. She tried to do so without looking to ridiculous. Unfortunately, Joey started to laugh.  
"What is so funny?" Rachel said, stopping the shaking and putting her hands on her hip.  
"You look weird when you do that."  
"Well, any person would look weird while they shake out their legs."  
"Well, if it makes you feel less embrassed, you look sexy when you do that."  
Rachel got all wide eyed and overjoyed. "Really?"  
"No." Joey started laughing again, he turned off the movie and turned on the lights, as they have been sidetracked.  
"Well, there is alot more that can impress a woman, besides being called sexy."  
"What is there?"  
"Well, a woman likes it when you comment on her fashion sense."  
"I do that all the time. 'Hey Rach, those pants make your ass look hot.'''  
"I know they do. A woman also likes it when you bring home some of her favorite things."  
"I bring home some dirty romance novels from the set of DOOL. You know they practically have a room full of them?"  
  
"All of the ones you picked out are good ones too."  
"I know. Read 'em myself." Joey replied, taking a seat on the couch. "Well, what else does a woman love?"  
"Well.." Rachel said, taking a seat next to Joey on the couch. "A woman likes...to have her face caressed and her hair touched. And be kissed ever so lightly. And then she...puts her hands through his hair," Rachel puts her hand through Joey's hair. "And then she stares at him. And as she stares into his eyes, she knows that he will never leave, and that...no matter what,...he will always be there for her. And...this place...is the only place..that he wants to be" Rachel said, staring into his eyes.  
"Wow..." Rachel thought she had him. "I should keep that in mind." Joey said, standing up to turn the movie back on. Rachel sighed, standing up and throwing her head back.  
"Rach? Wanna finish watching the movie?"  
"Sure."  
Rachel sat on Joey's lap again. Curling up in a ball as the next scary part comes on.  
  
"Isn't it a crime to name your child Gaylord Focker?" Elaine said, after seeing "Meet The Parents" with Ross.  
"I know! Just being Gaylord is a crime." Ross said, laughing. He hasn't had this much fun in a while. He has been working hard and not thinking about his personal life. "Hey Elaine. I had a great time tonight."  
"You know? Me too." Elaine said, with a smile on her face.  
Ross and Elaine walked hand in hand, and they both reached the main entrance to Elaine's apartment complex  
"Well, I guess this is it. I mean, I'll see you tommorow and all." Ross said.  
"Yeah." Elaine said. Ross leaned down and kissed Elaine softly on her lips. She returned the kiss in the same manner. "I'll see you tommorow." Elaine said, opening the door to the main lobby.  
"You too." Ross said, still happy from the entire date. He decided to whistle and skip the entire way home.  
  
"Okay, spirits. Come to Phoebe." Phoebe said, touching a glass ball on a table in her new psychic place. She couldn't afford her own place, but shared it with her own psychic. "OW! Son of a bitch!" Phoebe yelled after receiving a spirit that was tough. Suddenly, Phoebe felt a jolt from a spirit. "Oh. This feels weird."  
  
Joey saw Rachel in his lap. She was curled up in a ball and fast asleep. He picked her up and carried her into her bedroom. He placed her on the bed gently and undid the covers. 'God she looks beautiful.' Joey thought. She had always stuck by him. She would never betray him. He wish he had a girlfriend just like her. He couldn't have her.  
"Oh yeah. Don't stop." Rachel said, as she was dreaming.  
With that, Joey bolted out of the room.  
  
Music was playing in the background and the bride and groom were ready.  
"And now it's time to cut the cake." The DJ said, as the four-tiered wedding cake was wheeled out in front of everyone.  
Rachel laughed as she cut the cake and fed it to Joey. They both smiled as he got some frosting on his nose.  
Joey then cut the cake and was about to feed it to Rachel when...little Ross heads appeared in the middle of the cake. "I can't believe you Rachel! Why would you do this to me! Eat me Rachel!" Rachel screamed and then....  
Rachel woke up from her dream. Rachel woke up in a cold sweat. It truly was one of the most bizarre dreams of her life. Eating Ross as a cake? Was this a sign that a relationship with Joey wouldn't happen? It was now 9:00 am. She had to meet Monica and Chandler at Central Perk to do more wedding stuff.  
  
"This psychic stuff was harder than I thought. I mean, usually I don't care about peoples feelings,but now its my job." Phoebe said, talking to Chandler, Monica, and Joey. "I mean, right now, spirits are dancing all around us, and I have the power to change their lives in the spiritual world."  
"Can you change my life in the real world and give me more money towards our wedding?" Chandler said, before taking a sip of his coffee.  
Rachel walked into Central Perk.  
"Hey Rach? Are you ready to do some more wedding stuff today?" Monica said, turning around to talk to Rachel over the couch.  
"Yeah! Can't wait." Rachel said, putting a smile on our face.  
"Oh, Monica. I asked Joey to come so that there is some more men involved. And so I feel less overpowered by you." Chandler said.  
"Way to go, man." Joey said, rolling his eyes.  
"Okay. Since we're all here. Lets head on out!" Monica said, with extreme excitement. All five of then left Central Perk. Monica drove her Honda with Chandler in the passenger seat. Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe in the back.  
"Okay. Today we get to go cake shopping." Monica said, as they were driving along.  
"Wait. We're going cake shopping?" Rachel said, with a little shakiness in her voice.  
"Yeah. I told you last week that we'd be going cake shopping. Plus, I know you love cake and who wouldn't want it when its that time again." Monica said, nonchalantly  
"Monica! No one needs to know that!" Rachel said,all embrassed.  
"Rach, I think everyone knows when you get your--"  
"Do we really need to have this conversation before we eat cake?" Chandler said.  
"Well, Rach was getting all embrassed over something that we all knew about."  
"I don't care if she's bleeding out her ass, it's gross to discuss before we eat."  
As the argument continued, Rachel sunk in her seat, looking out the window.  
  
"...and that is how I named Tyrannosaurus Rex.'' Ross said, finishing up his class. As the class was dismissed, Elaine came walking in.  
"Hello." Elaine said, carrying her bag over her shoulder.  
"Hey." Ross said, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  
"I had a great time last night. You think you wanna go out again tonight?" Elaine asked.  
"I'd love to. How about we have a nice evening at my place?" Ross asked  
"I think that would be great. I wanna see where my favorite paleontologist lives." Elaine said, rubibng Ross' arm.  
"I'll pick you up around 8?" Ross asked.  
"Sure." Elaine gave Ross a quick kiss on the lips. "I got a class to teach. Bye, Indiana Jones."  
"Bye." Ross said.  
"'Hello Indiana Jones.'" A male student said in a girly voice as he was walking.  
"I know." Ross said, not knowing it was a student.  
  
Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey all got out of the car and went into, Delicate's. The place was on a beautiful street with many stores lined up next to each other. The place had an old town feeling to it.  
"Ok gang, get ready to eat cake galore." Monica said.  
"This must be heaven to the fat girl inside you." Chandler said, rubbing Monica's shoulders and kissing her cheek.  
The five of them proceeded inside, as the bell on the door jingled when they walked in. A woman came out from the back.  
"Hello everyone. I'm guessing you're all here for the Monica-Chandler cake testing."  
Everyone nodded in much excitement.  
"Ok, well wait right here and I'll bring out the samples that Monica suggested." The woman said, making her way back to pick up the samples.  
The woman came back with three plates, stacked about a foot high with samples. Everyone cringed at the sight of all the cake. There was strawberry,vanilla, chocolate, and everything in between.  
"Well I've never had a hangover with cake before." Chandler said.  
"Why are we all depressed? It's free cake." Joey said.  
"Joey, I don't think even you can eat all that cake." Rachel said.  
"If I can eat an entire fridge full of stuff, I can eat this."  
"Well, I'm staying about fifty feet away from that crap. Besides, George doesn't like that stuff. It gives him gas." Phoebe said, in a very grandma voice. Everyone turned around to Phoebe. "Oh believe me. It's true."  
"Ok, are we ready to try the first type of cake?" The woman said.  
"Yeah." Everyone said in a nervous tone.  
"Ok. Our first type is chocolate filling with a strawberry cake." The woman said, handing out a piece to everyone. Monica fed a piece to Chandler, Chandler fed a piece to Monica, Chandler fed a piece to Phoebe, Phoebe fed a piece to Joey, Joey was about to feed a piece to Rachel when Rachel stopped. She felt like her dream. But it was really more of a nightmare.  
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Rachel said, running off to the bathroom in the back.  
Everyone was confused. Monica followed Rachel.  
Rachel went into the bathroom and went into the stall. Monica came into the bathroom.  
"Rachel? What's going on?" Monica asked, standing outside the stall door.  
"Nothing. I just, didn't want any cake." Rachel said,lying.  
"Rachel, please tell me what is going on. You have been acting weird these last few days. I mean you can tell me anything." Monica said.  
Rachel came out from the stall. "Ok. For the past week or so, I have started to have feelings for someone."  
"Is it Chandler? Cause you know you have no shot---"  
"No! It's not Chandler!"  
"Is it Ross? Cause you know he's dating--"  
"No, Monica! It's Joey!"  
Monica paused for a few seconds. "Joey?"  
"Yeah." Rachel said,looking down.  
"Joey? You mean our Joey?"  
"Yes, Our Joey."  
"Oh--oh--my god."  
"Ok. Don't make such a big deal about it. I'm trying to suppress, but I think thats making it worse."  
"You know that you can't really do anything cause, you know if you two date and break up, then things would be weird."  
"I know. But what if things work out?"  
"I don't know, Rachel." Monica said, she paused for a few seconds. "But why did you run in here before eating the cake?"  
"Well...last night, I had a dream that....Joey was feeding me cake on our wedding day, and...in the middle of the cake was...little heads of... Ross."  
"That sounds like a dream that I would've had at 14." Monica said. Rachel gave her a look, as she was going off topic. "I don't know what to tell you, Rach. Maybe its a sign."  
"A sign?"  
"Yeah. Like a sign that maybe something with Joey is a bad idea."  
"Maybe your right. And don't tell anybody else, because I just feel like, I need to figure things out." Rachel said, leaning against the bathroom sink. "I mean, Joey is always so sweet to me. He says nothing but nice things about me. I just feel like...we could be something more."  
"I guess. I promise not to tell anyone. But just promise me this...tell me that you will think about it before you do anything."  
"I promise."  
Rachel and Monica hugged. Phoebe comes walking into the bathroom.  
"Why are we hugging?" Phoebe said.  
Rachel and Monica broke apart.  
"Uh, we were just um, happy to see you." Rachel said, offering Phoebe a hug.  
"Oh yeah. I'm happy to see me too!" Phoebe said. All three of them hugged. "Ok, but this hugging is really not helping my bladder." All three released the hug.  
Rachel and Monica left the bathroom, with a secret. **************************************************************************** ****** A/N: I know that was kind of a bizarre chapter and a longer one. And Phoebe will play and intregal rule in the next chapter. You'll see some real JnR action next chapter. And I'm sorry, I'm keeping Ross' thing short, but he'll have a bigger role later. Please read and review! 


	5. TOW Phoebe's Psychic Abilities

A/N: Hey everyone! I took a day off from the mayhem that is my story. I heard the news about the new sitcom and I have mixed feelings about it, which is one of the reasons I needed a day off. I'm back though with another chapter and an interesting one. I had to take the day off to think about what exactly will happen from here on end. As always, Read and Review. **************************************************************************** **** We begin later on in the night...  
  
Rachel went to bed that night with a sense of relief. She had finally told someone about her feelings for Joey. Monica seemed to be mixed about everything, but she's glad that she got it off her chest. She glanced over at her alarm clock. It was now 3:00am and sleep seemed to be an obstacle. She hasn't been able to sleep in such a long time. 'Tommorow,' Rachel thought 'I'll catch up on my sleep. That, and my unfinished Milan project at work.' Things seemed to be looking brighter for tommorow.  
  
Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch at Central Perk, the next day.  
"I can't wait for our wonderful trip to the catering hall today. I get to be in my element." Monica said getting excited in her seat.  
"I hope you don't get like this everytime we have to visit them before the wedding. I don't want people think I'm marrying a food fanatic." Chandler said, in a grown up manner.  
"I hope you don't act like this or you might not get married." Monica said.  
Rachel comes in to Central Perk, with her bag on her shoulder.  
"Hey Mon. I can't make the catering hall today. I'm gonna have lunch with Phoebe." Rachel said, sitting down on the sofa chair.  
"That's ok. More food for me." Monica said. Chandler gave her a glare. "And of course for you."  
  
Ross woke up beside Elaine that morning. He had felt so happy in this relationship. She was one of the rarest people in the world that was willing to listen to him talk about what he loves. She could share with him what was on her mind.  
They lie wrapped in each others arms. Ross holding her tight, had a conversation with Elaine about his past relationships and about Rachel.  
"You know what? I believe that you two were on a break." Elaine said.  
" Thank you! Me too. She never thought that." Ross said, kissing Elaine.  
"I had a similar situation with my last boyfriend, Kurt. He went out one night and got really drunk and ended up on my best friends couch. I never forgave him or her. At least, this Chloe person was somebody you can forget about."  
"Yeah. I don't know how I would react if any of my friends dated any of my ex's. I'd be mad at first, but then I'd think about the happiness they have. That maybe my ex would've been better off with him in the first place."  
A silence ensued the room for a few moments.  
"Say, how about we go on a break of our own."  
Ross looked on with confusion.  
"No, I mean, we go get some breakfast."  
"Oh right. I knew what you meant."  
  
Phoebe's psychic business was going very well. She had a booming business since she made shop in her own psychic's place. Phoebe had become the master of the spirits. Phoebe's day was about to begin, then a young woman walked in.  
"Excuse me? Are you Phoebe Buffay?" The young woman asked.  
"Yes I am. How can I help you?" Phoebe said in a professional manner.  
"Hello my name is Trisha Sparks. I am here to contact a spirit."  
"Okay. Follow me." Phoebe said, leading Trisha to the back of the psychic shop to a room with red walls and plush purple sofa chairs. A table with a black velvet tablecloth and a crystal ball was in between the two purple sofa chairs. Trisha and Phoebe sat across from each other.  
"Please tell me your business." Phoebe asked Trisha.  
"I'm here to contact a Miss. Katherine Sparks. She was my sister and died not too long ago. I think that she is still around because she constantly leaves some clues."  
"What clues?"  
"Um...yesterday, I found her lipstick on her dresser, which I hadn't taken out. I also found about two days ago a book on acting lying around on her bed. I've also noticed lots of Hershey Kisses in my candy dish lately."  
"I will try to see what message Katherine is sending you." Phoebe said. Phoebe waved her hands around the crystal ball to connect to the spiritual world. Phoebe touched ball. She then asked Trisha to do the same." Phoebe said a chant to connect.  
"I feel Katherine's spirit. She seems to have unfinished business, a wish in a way." Phoebe said, in a quizzical  
"What's the wish?" Trisha asked with much anticipation.  
As soon as the wish was to be said, Rachel came in the room.  
"Hey Pheebs, are you ready to ---Whoa!" Rachel felt a jolt and fell backwards on the floor.  
Phoebe and Trisha stood up to see if she was ok.  
"What happened?" Trisha asked.  
"The spirit of your sister Katherine has entered Rachel's body." Phoebe said.  
"Why did it enter her body and not any of ours?"  
"She wasn't touching the crystal ball, and she had disturbed her."  
"Oh great." Rachel said, getting up off the floor. "Now I have a spirit inside of me?"  
"Yes you do. And the only way to get the spirit out of you is to fulfill Katherine's wish."  
"A wish? So I have to fulfill this person's wish? A person I've never met before and don't really care for--OW!. Stop it, spirit!" Rachel said, getting weird looks from Phoebe and Katherine.  
"Now, we need to find out what this persons wish is." Phoebe said, taking a seat on the chair again. Trisha sat on the other side. Rachel stood up in front of the crystal ball. Phoebe contacted the spirit that was in Rachel. The spirit said in a voice only heard by Phoebe.  
"Apparently, Joey dated Katherine before she died. Katherine, remembers that Joey never gave her a goodbye kiss. So Katherine's last wish is to get a goodbye kiss from Joey. Like the time they kissed outside of Gio's." Phoebe said, putting her hands in her lap.  
"So, in order to get rid of this spirit in me, I have to get a goodbye kiss from Joey?" Rachel said, with a little nervousness.  
"Yes." Phoebe said.  
"Well, how does all this happen?"  
"Well, we have to get Joey in here and you and him have to kiss in the presence of the crystal ball."  
Rachel felt a little leary about all this. With her feelings for Joey lately, a kiss from him isn't exactly what she needed.  
"Oh Phoebe. Thank you for contacting her you are so wonderful in doing this." Trisha said, giving Phoebe a hand shake.  
"I know, aren't I?" Phoebe said, smiling and basking in all her glory.  
  
Monica and Chandler arrived at Grandiose Caterers.  
"This is going to be so much fun." Monica said, holding onto Chandlers hand tightly.  
"Yeah, well my hand isn't having much fun." Chandler said, Monica squeezed it harder. "OW!"  
Monica and Chandler walked in and went straight to the catering hall.  
"Hello, you must be Monica and Chandler. I'm Chef William. I'll be taking you to all the meals that can be served at your wedding." William led Monica and Chandler to the back towards the kitchen. The other chefs were hard at work preparing for another wedding and there was lots of hustling.  
As the three of them walked to the end of the kitchen, Chandler saw some chicken fingers on a plate. He decided to stop and pick one up and take a bite. A chef nearby shot him a look.  
"Yum. Wanna taste?" Chandler said, holding out the chicken finger to the chef. "Ok." Chandler proceeded to eat the rest of the chicken finger and move on.  
"Now, this is what we have prepared for you." Chef William said. "We have some mesclun greens, herb chicken tartlettes, franconia potato, baked tilapia, baked orange roughy--"  
"Whoa. What happened to prime rib, and some french fries?" Chandler said.  
"Honey, this is our wedding. Not a night out at the Outback." Monica said, turning back to the chef.  
"Hey, that wedding over there has chicken fingers." Chandler said.  
"Uh sir? Those chicken fingers are for the children at the wedding." Chef William said.  
"Well, I know where I'll be sitting."  
  
Rachel and Phoebe were hanging out at Central Perk.  
"I can't believe I have to kiss Joey to get rid of this spirit in me." Rachel said.  
"So? At least it's not like you have to screw somebody." Phoebe said, taking a sip from her coffee.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, I had this one spirit, who was a woman, who wanted to have sex with her husband one last time, as giant teddy bear. Let's just say that the woman who had her spirit, got her fur ruffled."  
As Rachel stood up to get more cough, she tripped over the table in front of her.  
"Hey Pheebs. Is it me or do I seem to be tripping alot since that spirit came into me?"  
"You know what? I heard she had a tripping problem."  
"Well does she know how to walk? OW! Sorry." Rachel said to the spirit.  
As Rachel was about to sit back down with her coffee, Joey walks in.  
"Oh my God! Joey Tribbiani, its nice to see you again!" Rachel said, going over to hug Joey.  
"Uh...nice to see you again too, Rachel." Joey said, confused  
"Oh, Joey. Don't mind Rachel, one of the spirits I was trying to contact is in her. Do you remember a Kathertine Sparks?" Phoebe said.  
"I don't know...but I did know this one woman who did stumble alot."  
"Yeah. That's Katherine." Rachel said, sitting down. "Ow! Stop poking me, Katherine!"  
"Uh Pheebs? How long is this spirit going to be around?" Joey said, sitting on the sofa.  
"Oh right. Joey, Rachel has a problem with a spirit in her." Phoebe said, in her usual manner. Rachel and Joey rolled their eyes.  
"Anyway, Katherine has unfinished business. She recently died in a bus accident, about a few weeks ago. Supposedly, you were going to give her a goodbye kiss the night of her death, but you didn't. So now in order to get rid of Katherine's spirit, you have to kiss Rachel." Phoebe said.  
"So, I have to kiss Rachel in order to get rid of Katherine."  
"And she said something about how she wants to be kissed like the time at Gio's"  
"Oh." Joey said.  
"What's the matter?"  
"Well..." Joey said. He leaned over and whispered into Phoebe's ear.  
"WHOA! That's how she wants you to kiss her? Boy, I wish I had Katherine's spirit. I'm mad at you, Rachel." Phoebe said.  
"What? What? How am I getting kissed?" Rachel asked confused. Phoebe whispered in Rachels ear. "WHOA! No way! That last part ain't flying with me, mister!" Rachel said to Joey.  
"Fine." Joey said. "So when do we do this whole thing?"  
"We could go right now if you like." Phoebe said  
"Good. I need to get rid of this stumbling, horny bitch." Rachel said. "OW! Can we please hurry?"  
All three of them left to go to Phoebe's psychic place.  
  
Ross and Elaine spent the whole day in bed talking and enjoying their time together.  
"I can't believe you dated Greg Hambert. That man has no hair, except on his butt." Ross said, with disgust.  
"It's not as bad as you say it is. And you dated a bald woman before." Elaine said  
"Yeah, well, that wasn't my fault. Rachel was jealous of her and me and encouraged her to do it." Ross said, digging into his pint of Haagen Daz.  
"Well, I know that I wouldn't do that to someone. That's just awful."  
"Yeah. I mean, I think I still had feelings for Rachel, but I think that we could never be together again. It would just mean more disagreement and arguing. I just won't be able to take it."  
"Aww...hey lets drop the depressing stuff, and go for a walk."  
"Sure." Ross said, getting out of the bed. "Hey um, where are our clothes?"  
"Oh god! I think that we started to undress each other in the hall, and our clothes are... out there." Elaine said, pointing towards the door.  
"Oh." Ross said. The two of them wrapped themselves in sheets and ran out to the hall.  
  
Monica and Chandler came home from a hard day of perfect entrees for their wedding reception.  
"That was so much fun." Monica said, taking her coat off and placing it on the coat hanger.  
"Yeah. It was great, especially since I was oblivious to you and Mr. Baked Everything." Chandler said, sitting down on the couch.  
"What's the matter with you today?"  
"I felt so out of place there. You and Mr. B.E. were chatting away about food and table manners that were 'as bad as mixing greens and fresh cod', and I got yelled at for not being fancy with my wedding food. Chandler said.  
"Honey, I'm sorry, I guess I got caught up with talking about food, that I wasn't really thinking about what could be served at our wedding." Monica said, pausing. "You know what? You can have a choice in what you want served at the wedding."  
"Chicken fingers?"  
"Okay."  
"How about some mac n cheese?"  
"Honey, I said a choice. Not choices."  
  
Phoebe, Rachel, and Joey entered Phoebe's psychic place.  
"Ok. Let me get my book out on 'unfinished business.'" Phoebe said, taking out a huge book on different ways to fulfill spirits wishes.  
"Pheebs, is this going to take all night?" Rachel asked.  
"Do you want to jump up and down and say 'Tom Cruise is my bitch?'"  
"No."Rachel said confused.  
"Well..." Phoebe said, with a scoff. She continued to flip through the pages. "Oh. I found it. Ok... Joey you sit to my left in front of the table, and Rachel you face Joey." Phoebe made a chant, to set the tone. "Ok...whenever your ready."  
Joey and Rachel leaned forward and kissed. Although the kiss was for a purpose, there was so much in the kiss. Joey kissed her tenderly and lovingly. Touching her face with such lightness. Rachel held the sides of his neck and lightly graced his lips. Phoebe looked on in amazement. Joey and Rachel kissed for a long time to make sure the spirit was gone. When Rachel couldn't feel the spirit anymore, they let go. Joey looked at Rachel and she looked at him. Their eyes met and it seemed as if they were meant to keep going. There was something in that kiss that was more than spiritual. Phoebe's voice brought them out of their trance.  
"Ok. Um, we're done." Phoebe said, amazed herself.  
"Oh. Yeah right." Joey said.  
"She's gone. I feel so free." Rachel said.  
Phoebe put the book back on the shelf.  
"Let me just close up the place and I'll meet you outside." Phoebe said.  
Joey and Rachel stepped outside the psychic place. They stood far apart from each other. Rachel was shuffling her feet and Joey had his hands in his pocket, looking up at the sky.  
"Um, Joey...that kiss...that was just the spirit, right?" Rachel said.  
"Yeah. It was just Katherine's wish and nothing more." Joey said.  
Phoebe came out from the front and locked the place up. Phoebe got in the driver seat of her taxi. Rachel sat in the front, and Joey in the back.  
Joey couldn't help but think about their kiss. Was there something there? Was it just the spirit? He didn't know what to think. He felt his feelings develop into something....something that he never expected. **************************************************************************** ******** A/N: I bet your thinking that JnR will hook up now right....but we'll see. By the way, I know nothing about the supernatural, spiritual or psychic world. I just made some of it up. I do some tarot card reading and thats it. Anyway, I hope you keep on reading and reviewing! 


	6. TOW All The Grocery Chaos

A/N: I bet that some of you weren't expecting something like that. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a few days. I just wasn't in the writing mood. I've had some family troubles and a few people online pissed me off. Anyway, I hope all of you enjoy this chapter. **************************************************************************** ****  
  
Joey couldn't talk to Rachel. He was sitting across from her in Monica's apartment, and he couldn't even talk to her then. He thought that things would be okay after the kiss. He never expected himself to develop feelings for Rachel. She was gorgeous, funny, and understood him. He loved the way her hair flowed. Her eyes, that sparkling blue that you could get lost in forever. Joey's thoughts were broken by Chandler walking in the door.  
"Hey." Chandler said to everyone.  
"Hey." Everyone replied.  
"Oh honey, I invited Ross and Elaine over for dinner. I'd like to meet the girl who's keeping Ross away from us. They should be here in about half an hour." Monica said to Chandler.  
"Does she do gymnastics?" Phoebe asked.  
"I don't know." Monica said  
"Is she tall?"  
"I don't know."  
"Is she German?"  
"I don't know. What's with the questions?"  
"Oh, one of my spirits needs a tall, gymnast that's German."  
"What are you setting up some kind of spirit dating service? 'Think that your love life is dead when you're, well,...dead. Think again.'" Chandler said.  
  
Ross and Elaine came over around 6:30. They arrived arm in arm.  
"I'm a little nervous about meeting your friends. I hope they like me." Elaine said, clutching Ross' arm before they went in.  
"Sweetie, they'll love you." Ross' said, kissing Elaine and then opening the door to Monica's apartment.  
"Hey." Everyone said.  
"Hallo. Wie geht es Ihnen? Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" Phoebe said, shaking Elaine's hand.  
"I'm sorry?" Elaine said, smiling and confused.  
"Verstehen Sie, was ich sage?"  
"I don't understand what you're saying."  
"Well, one out of three ain't bad." Phoebe said, sitting down on the couch.  
Ross and Elaine took a seat on the couch next to Phoebe. Rachel sat on one end of the couch. Joey sat in the sofa chair. Monica and Chandler were standing up in front of the TV.  
"So how did you two meet?" Monica asked  
"Well, we were sitting at lunch in the cafeteria, and Elaine overheard a conversation I was having with some colleagues. She said that she agreed with what I'm saying and here we are."  
"Hey, if they agreed with everything they were saying, how'd we get where we are?" Chandler said, to Monica.  
"I'm gonna go start dinner." Monica said, running off to the kitchen. Monica went to look in the refridgerator and shut it in shock. "Oh my god!" Monica said, walking over to the living room. "There is nothing in the fridge! Me and Chandler must've been so busy with the wedding stuff, that the whole fridge is empty. How can this happen to me?" Monica said, pacing.  
"Sweetie, it's ok, we can go food shopping." Chandler said.  
"Let's go now. I can't take an empty fridge." Monica said.  
"What about company that we have over?"  
"They can come too."  
"Well, Mon, thats not good hostess manners." Chandler said. Monica shot him a glare. "Okay everybody, lets go shopping."  
Everyone got up and proceeded to walk to the grocery, considering that not everyone will fit in the car.  
  
All 7 of them walked to the grocery store. Chandler noticed Joey's distance. He was walking towards the back of the group, instead of towards the front, where all the excitement was. He was looking down and seemed to be deep in thought, which is unusual for his friend. He would usually be excited when there was a trip to the grocery store, but not tonight. He's usually the one who's talking and striking up a conversation about anything.  
"Hey Joey, can I talk to you for a second?" Chandler said. "Hey Mon, Joey and I will catch up with you in a few minutes." Chandler said, to Monica.  
Chandler took Joey aside. "Are you okay Joey? I mean, when Monica said the fridge was empty, you didn't get carried away. Is something up?" Chandler said  
"No everythings fine." Joey said. "Everything is just dandy. I couldn't have been happier."  
"Come on Joe. I know something is up. The last time you got like this was when you were falling in love with Janine." Chandler said. Joey shot him a look that indicated just that. "You're in love with someone?"  
"It's not love, just feelings." Joey said.  
"Who is it?"  
"I don't want to say."  
"Come one Joe. You can tell me. It's not like it's one of our friends." Chandler said. Joey gave him that look again. "God, I'm good. I mean, who is it?"  
"I...uh...its...I can't say."  
"Joey come on."  
"Fine...it's...(mumbling)."  
"It's who?"  
"It's Rachel." Joey said, sliding against a building and sliding down on the sidewalk.  
"Rachel? You---you like Rachel?"  
"Yeah, okay. I mean, the other night at the psychic place, we had to kiss to get the spirit out of her, but I never expected anything from it. You know, just doing a friend a favor,but....I haven't been able to sleep, or talk to her, or do anything."  
"Wow. I don't know what to tell you Joe. I mean, if you decide to do anything, you know that you have to deal with Ross."  
"I don't know if I want to do anything. And don't tell anybody because I'm trying to get rid of these feelings."  
"I won't and just be careful Joe. I'll be there for you if you need me."  
"Thanks."  
"So are you gonna pay me back for all the acting stuff?" Chandler said. Joey gave me a ''no'' look. "Oh well, I was good while it lasted."  
The two friends proceeded to go to the grocery store.  
  
When Chandler and Joey arrived at the grocery store, the other 5 were waiting outside. Monica grabbed a cart and proceeded to push the cart into the store.  
"You know what I feel like making tonight? Shepards pie." Monica said.  
"Just don't do what Rachel did and make us gag on it." Chandler said.  
"Yeah, I don't feel like eating feet tonight." Ross said, thinking about the infamous incident. "I'm sorry. It's not my fault the pages were stuck together." Rachel said  
"Well, I liked it." Joey said, smiling at her.  
Rachel and Joey looked at each other and then looked away quickly. Both were thinking about the other. Thinking about how weird they were acting around each other. Both of them not being themselves lately.  
"Okay. We need chop meat, peas, carrots, mashed potatoes, pie crust, and an aluminum pie tray." Monica said, counting out the items on her fingers.  
"If you think about it, we're all kind of a shepards pie." Phoebe said. Everyone gave her a look, asking her to explain. "I mean that all of us are some kind of ingredient in the pie. Like I would be the aluminum pie tray."  
"Why are you the aluminum pie tray?" Monica questioned  
"Because I am strong, shiny, and I can take the heat."  
"But I am the one who holds us all together and thats what a pie tray does."  
"But I am shiny!"  
"No, you're flaky, like a pie crust! Flaky and ridged!"  
"Does it really matter what you are?" Chandler said.  
"Yes!" Phoebe and Monica said in unison.  
"Fine. Argue about what inanimate object you are." Chandler said, with some weirdness in his voice.  
"An aluminum pie tray is round and neat! Just like you, you neurotic clean freak!" Phoebe said  
"I am not neurotic! You are just like a pie crust! You get all hot and tempered and burn easily!"  
"I don't burn easily! I always put on SPF 30."  
"I don't mean that kind of burned." Monica said, with evil in her voice. Phoebe and Monica gave each other evil looks  
Ross and Elaine drifted away from the arguing and headed off to the dairy section. Rachel and Joey eventually headed to the bakery, deli, and produce aisle. Chandler, was left with Monica and Phoebe.  
  
Joey and Rachel walked around, not talking to each other. Both of them felt weird, all of a sudden, around each other. They walked next to each other and yet they seemed so far away. Someone had to break the long flowing silence.  
"So, um, you wanna get Monica some produce?" Joey said, stopping at the produce section.  
"Sure." Rachel said. They both grabbed baskets and some bags and proceeded through the produce section.  
'My God, what is wrong with me?' Joey thought. 'I can't even look at her.'  
'Why can't I look at him?' Rachel thought. 'We're less then a foot away from each other and I can't even form a sentence.'  
Joey decided that he had to say something. "Say Rach, do you feel weird after we kissed?"  
'Good job, Joe. Just go ahead and bluntly say it!' Joey thought, getting angry at himself.  
"Um, no. Not at all" Rachel said, lying.  
'Again, I can't even speak to him like his friend.' Rachel thought.  
The two of them stood on either side of the produce display and started to pick up the items.  
"Oh. Cause I haven't thought about it either." Joey said, picking up a zucchini and placing it in a bag.  
"Yeah. I haven't had dreams about it." Rachel said, picking up two grapefruits and putting it in a bag.  
"And I haven't constantly thought about it all day at work." Joey said, acting as if it was a joke and walking faster and grabbing a cucumber.  
"Oh yeah. And I haven't written about it in my journal in a good way." Rachel said, catching up with Joey's pace and grabbing two melons.  
"Cause that kiss meant nothing." Joey said, in the same joking manner, while picking up an eggplant.  
"Yes absolutely." Rachel said, picking up canteloupes.  
"Positively." Joey said, picking up celery.  
"Meant." Rachel said, picking up, two oranges.  
"Nothing." Rachel and Joey said at the same time, facing each other at the end of the produce display. Rachel had some bananas in her hand. Joey had some broccoli in his hand. Rachel gave him a weird look and he quickly put it down. They felt each others breath. They had this sudden urgency in their eyes. They were trying to figure out what the other one was thinking.  
'Does he feel the same way?' Rachel thought, staring into his eyes.  
'Does she feel like I feel?' Joey thought, staring into her eyes.  
Their moment was broken by Chandler's voice.  
"Why am I the mashed potatos?!" Chandler said, whining.  
"Oh please! You get so whipped in a relationship and I know how to kick your ass!" Monica said, with a matter of factly manner.  
Joey and Rachel stopped looking at each other. Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe walked over to where Joey and Rachel were.  
"Hey! What'd you guys get?" Monica asked. Rachel and Joey showed her what they got. "I didn't need all this food."  
"Hey, where are Ross and Elaine?" Phoebe said.  
With that, Ross and Elaine were heard laughing and walking down the produce aisle. They didn't seem to notice the other five looking on.  
"Eh hmm.." All five said to Ross and Elaine. Ross' hair was a mess and had his underwear hanging out of his pocket, and Elaine's blouse was buttoned wrong and her hair was all frizzy. Ross and Elaine, stopped laughing and fixed themselves up, embrassed at their appearance.  
All 7 of them proceeded to the check out counter.  
After the woman at the check out counter rang everything up, two store clerks started to run towards the 7 of them.  
"Get those two! They ruined the new shipment of foam plates!" One of the store clerks said, pointing to Ross and Elaine.  
"What's going on?" Rachel said.  
"Well..." Ross said.  
"Es gibt keine Zeit. Lauf, shepards Torte, Lauf!" Phoebe said, pushing everyone out the door.  
All 7 ran out, each with bags in their hands. They ran all the way back to the apartment. Running from a place where everything changed for more than a couple of people. ****************************************************************************  
  
A/N: I hope you liked another wild chapter. I promise to get the next chapter up as soon as I can. *The German translations are "Hello. How are you? Do you speak German?", "Do you understand what I am saying?", "There's no time. Run, shepards pie, run.* 


	7. TOW No One Has Dinner

A/N: Thanks everyone for the reviews! I have been mad because of some certain fans of a another couple on 'Friends.' (I think most of you know what couple I speak of.) I had a really hard time with this chapter because all of a sudden, I got so critical with my writing. So, reading and reviewing is very important to me. This chapter is truly zany. There maybe some unrealistic things, but its my world, get used to it. J/K! I have been trying to think about the WAY future of this story. I might go past Season 7 with this. I think that I have the guts to say it now, but I think I'll do it. As for the current situation, things are gonna get a little wilder. I'm probably torturing you with the tension and no real JnR action yet, but give me time. Nothing comes easy. Anyway, enjoy another chapter from yours truly. Read and review!  
  
**************************************************************************** ** We begin the next day....  
  
Joey was on the set of "Days Of Our Lives." He was getting his make up done. Joey couldn't believe it. He felt that Rachel might be on the same wavelength. Could she be wanting the same thing as him? 'No. It can't be.' Joey thought. 'Why would she like me? I'm not the brightest of people and I haven't had anything serious. What would she want to do with me? She doesn't like me.' Joey concluded.  
Joey headed off to wardrobe. Today, he was getting measurements done for a suit he was going to wear in an upcoming, special episode. He entered the room and saw a woman getting out her measurement tape. She was about 5'5'' and had light brown hair, and had the same fashion sense.  
The woman turned around as soon as Joey entered.  
"Oh you must be Joey Tribbiani. My name is Raquel. I'll be taking your measurements today." Raquel said, reaching her hand out to shake his hand. She looked almost exactly like Rachel, only she had black, square glasses, her hair was up in a bun, and she had a slightly smaller nose. She wore a black turtleneck, black pants, and black boots, all very stylish, like Rachel.  
"Oh. So is this your day job?" Joey said, flirting a little and stepping up onto the platform in the center of the room.  
"No. Normally, I work in an office, but I do this to meet all the cute soap opera stars." Raquel said, while measuring Joey for his pants and shirt.  
"Oh." Joey said, with a hint of laughter. "Where do you usually work?"  
"I work in the offices of Kenneth Cole. I work for the marketing department there."  
"Really? I have a friend who works for Ralph Lauren."  
"No! I always wanted to work there."  
"Oh yeah? Well, maybe we can catch up on some dinner and you can meet my friend. Say tommorow night at 6:00?"  
"Is a certain someone asking me out on a date?"  
"He might be."  
"I'd love to go." Raquel said, putting her measuring tape down. "Okay, we are done. Here's my card, just call me with the details." Raquel said, jotting down the the numbers from the measuring.  
Joey leaned over to see the numbers.  
"You know, those numbers can be applied somewhere else."  
"You got the date. Don't ruin it." Raquel said, still writing down the numbers.  
"Right." Joey said and left to do his scene.  
  
It was about 5:30 and Monica was in her kitchen preparing food for the dinner that her and Chandler will be having tonight, with Ross and Elaine.  
"Hopefully, we won't have a fiasco like last night." Monica said.  
"Yeah." Chandler said, looking below the sink. "Oh my God! We don't have any napkins!"  
"What?!" Monica said, kneeling down below the sink.  
"Gotcha!" Chandler said, laughing. Monica shot him a glare. "I'll just go sit over here, where I'll curl up in a ball and die." Chandler said, sitting down on the sofa chair.  
Phoebe came in the apartment a few seconds later.  
"Hey." Phoebe said, putting her purse on the coat rack  
"Hey." Monica and Chandler said.  
"Oh, Mon. I can't make it to the dinner tonight." Phoebe said.  
"Why?"  
"I have a date tonight!"  
"That's great Pheebs. Is he dead?" Chandler asked.  
"No. He's very much alive." Phoebe said, giving her signature smile.  
"Okay, too much info, even if he is alive."  
At that moment, Rachel came walking in.  
"Hey." Rachel said, all happy and cheerful.  
"Hey Rach, did you just smoke on something?" Phoebe asked.  
"No. I have a date tonight."  
"Wow. Good for you Rach, you're moving on." Monica said.  
"Moving on from what?" Chandler asked.  
"From...her...imaginary boyfriend..." Monica looked around the room for some kind of name "...Orville" Monica said, trying to cover tracks. Chandler had a confused look on his face. (A/N: Just to be clear, Monica knows about Rachel's feelings, Chandler knows about Joey's feelings. They don't know about each other. Carry on...).  
"Anyway, I brought him up so you can meet him." Rachel opened the door and brought her date in. "Everyone, this is Joel." Rachel said, interlinking her arm with his.  
Joel was about 6'0'', dark brown hair and dark eyes. His hair was a little past his ears, and had very broad shoulders. Monica looked on with confusion. This guy looked almost exactly like Joey, except for the longer hair and the clothes. Joel was dressed in dark drown corduroy pants with a black long sleeve cashmere sweater.  
"What's up, lady?" Joel said, winking at Phoebe.  
"Oh, Joelesph" Phoebe giggled. Phoebe then left for her date.  
Joel winked at Chandler.  
"Why are you winking at me?" Chandler asked.  
"You just seem like the kind of guy to wink at." Joel said.  
Joel walked over to the fridge and started looking through.  
"Um, excuse me? Why are you going through my fridge?" Monica asked with confusion.  
"Oh, I needed to remind myself that I have to go food shopping. Oh, I need some turkey, mustard, and bread." Joel said, taking out those items and started making a sandwich.  
Monica pulled Rachel aside.  
"Rachel, where did you get this guy?"  
"Well, he came into Ralph Lauren to do some modeling and--"  
"No Rach, I mean, who is this guy? Doesn't he remind you of someone?"  
"Oh, you know what? He does remind me of Chris Farrow, you know the guy from high school with the whole lazy look and--"  
"No, I mean does he remind you of someone we know and hang out with right now?"  
With that, Joey comes walking in with Raquel.  
"Hey." Joey said.  
"Hey." Everyone said.  
"Hey." Chandler said, turning around. He turned back around and stared in shock, his mouth gaping open. The woman on Joey's arm looked almost exactly like Rachel.  
"Oh, this is Raquel." Joey said, as he and Raquel took a seat on the couch. Joey noticed Chandlers open mouth. "Dude, you're drooling all over." Chandler quickly wiped himself up.  
Joel finished making his sandwich and took a seat next to Raquel on the couch.  
"Hey, aren't you that dude on Days Of Our Lives?" Joel said, to Joey, taking a bite of his sandwich.  
"Yeah, I'm that dude. Hey aren't you that dude who plays that dude on that show about that dude who takes 'the dude' to that place every week?" Joey asked.  
"No. I'm the dude on the show who plays the dude who talks about that dude who is against one of my dudes and then I try to kill that dude."  
"Oh! I love that show!" Joey replied, enthusiastically.  
Monica noticed this conversation and couldn't take it anymore.  
"Rachel, you're dating Joey." Monica said.  
"No I'm not. I'm dating Joel." Rachel said.  
"Don't you see it? The mannerisms, the 'dude', the food."  
Rachel glanced over and saw Joel and Joey reaching for the remote. Joel took the remote and turned on the TV to a rerun of "Baywatch". "Nice." Joel and Joey said.  
"No. I don't see it." Rachel said.  
  
Phoebe was having a good time on her date.  
"So, um, what do you do for a living?" Phoebe asked  
"I um, teach a product demonstation class." Chris said.  
"A product demonstration class?" Phoebe said, puzzled.  
"Yeah. I get good money for it. Which is why I think you can use the new product I'm promoting." Chris said.  
"Oh, so, thats why you brought me out on a date?"  
"Um, pretty much, but let me show you one thing."  
Chris beckons the waiter to come over. He has a remote control that says "I-Know-You-2000" on the top of the remote.  
"Phoebe, have you ever had trouble trying to figure out what someone is thinking?"  
"Not really, I'm psychic." Phoebe said.  
"Well, just work with me here. Let's say you don't know what to eat for dinner and you want to ask your waiter, but he is too damn cute to ask. So you dial in a certain code." Chris aimed the remote for the waiters head, and a voiceover that says 'I would suggest the grilled salmon and vegetable broth.'  
"Wow. Impressive. So I can use this to get peoples secrets? Like find out if Jacque Costeau is really dead? Or if I could find out the truth about Boca burgers?"  
"Um, sure yeah. Whatever."  
"Great." Phoebe said. "Thanks a bunch." Phoebe kissed Chris on the cheek and took the remote and pamphlet and was about to leave.  
"Wait! Where are you going?"  
"Well, you said you only brought me on a date to give me the remote so, bye bye." Phoebe said and left.  
  
Raquel and Joel are sitting on the couch. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen.  
"Hey Rach, why don't we all go on a double date?" Joey said, asking Rachel.  
'There's no harm in asking a double date, I mean, you're already with Raquel.' Joey thought.  
"That'd be great. Where did you plan on going?" Rachel said.  
'Maybe I can give some excuse like, I'm becoming a vegetarian or I don't believe in dinner anymore. Or eating for that matter because I can't stop thinking about you...stop it Rach.' Rachel thought  
"I was thinking of that burger joint, Blue Duck." Joey said.  
'Yeah. Make yourself seem even more childish around her. That'll push her away. Good thinking Joe.' Joey thought  
"Really? Joel was thinking of going there too." Rachel said. 'Wow. Joey and Joel have the same taste in food. I loved that pick up line Joel used. 'What's up, lady?' And the way he holds me close and when he smiles and....oh my god. Joel is Joey. Joey is Joel. Monica is right. What do I do?!"  
"...and thats how I met Raquel." Joey said. He noticed Rachel off in a daze. "Rach? Are you okay?"  
"Yeah. I'm fine. So Blue Duck." Rachel said.  
Joey sat next to Raquel on the couch and Rachel next to Joel. Rachel still seemed to be in a daze when Raquel started talking to her.  
"Are you the one who works in Ralph Lauren?" Raquel asked Rachel.  
"Yes I am." Rachel said, sitting up to face Raquel. "Was I mentioned somewhere around your office?" Rachel was starting to get interested.  
"No. I work at Kenneth Cole, and I've been wanting to work at Ralph Lauren for such a long time." "Oh my god! I've always wanted to work at Kenneth Cole! Oh, I wish I could switch with you." "Like it would make a difference." Chandler said.  
"I got the job from a friend of mine. Unfortunately, I had to sleep with him. Such a bed hog." Raquel said.  
"Luckily, I never had to sleep with a guy. Rumor had it, that someone who did have to sleep with a guy, from some other office was such a bitch in bed, that she only got an assistant job. And when the guy tried to apologize to her, she threw his clothes out on the street after her dog peed on them." Rachel said, laughing and sitting back.  
"Um...that wasn't a rumor. That was quite true. I happened to think that he was a real bed hog and tried to get the dog involved with the sex."  
"How would you know about the dog getting involved with the sex?"  
"Well, the...uh...girl involved....happened to um....you know what, I hate Ralph Lauren...it's so rugged and very manly. And plaid? Who wears that stuff?"  
"I do." Joey and Joel responded. They looked at each other.  
"Well, Kenneth Cole should call their new line "Funeral Home Attaire."  
"Well, your fashion style is so damn slutty."  
Rachel gasped, and stood up.  
"That's right. You shouldn't be working for Ralph Lauren. You should be working for the store where you get the cheap underwear you are wearing." Raquel said, pointing to where Rachel's underwear was showing.  
"Oh really? Well, you should be working for 'Nerds 'R' Us' with the glasses you're wearing." Rachel said. Rachel and Raquel were staring each other down.  
"Okay, I think its time to go for dinner." Joey said, grabbing Raquels hand, and Joel grabbing Rachels hand and heading out the door.  
  
A few minutes later, Ross and Elaine came in the door.  
"Hey" Ross and Elaine said.  
Ross and Elaine noticed that no one was in the kitchen or the living room. And the bedroom door was open. And the guest room door was closed.  
"Where is everyone?" Elaine questioned.  
"I don't know. But I do know something. We don't just have to sit around and wait for them." Ross said, walking towards the guest room.  
"Well, I don't know, it seems so....forbidden." Elaine said, making her way slowly towards the guest room.  
"Oh well, who cares, Monica likes to change the sheets anyway." Ross said, running over and grabbing Elaine. They went into the guest room, and closed the door.  
At that moment, Chandler and Monica opened the window and came in from the balcony.  
"I'm so glad you finally agreed to do it on the balcony." Chandler said, beaming.  
"I didn't agree. You threatened to put a stain on the couch and buy another barcalounger." Monica said.  
"Well, thats the magic of Chandler." Chandler said, making gestures.  
"That's the only magic you have, Houdini." Monica said, sarcastically.  
Monica starts to make dinner, while Chandler goes to the bathroom.  
Ross opened the door and noticed Monica starting dinner. He quickly shut the door, quietly.  
"Where did they come from?" Ross said, his back against the door.  
"It is their apartment." Elaine said, putting her hands on her hips.  
"They must've been in another part of the apartment or something." Ross said.  
"So what are we gonna do?"  
"Maybe we can wait until they go out."  
"Or we could go out the window."  
"Oh, sweetie. You must be tired." Ross said, hugging a confused Elaine.  
  
It is now 6:00. All 4 of them were sitting at the bar. Rachel, Joel, Raquel, and Joey are all sitting at the burger joint, Blue Duck. Rachel and Raquel were still arguing. Rachel has had about 5 glasses of wine. Joel and Joey were discussing acting things.  
"So you were on 'All My Children?" Joey said.  
"Yeah. I also had a brief stint on a local cable channel. The show was called 'How To Do.'"  
"Was it some kind of advice show?"  
"Yeah. Only I never gave advice. I was the guy in the background as the girls talked about sex. Not a bad gig, my friend." Joel said, drinking some Coke.  
"Yous know whats?" Rachel said.  
"What?" Raquel said, ticked off.  
"I thinks thats you, you, you, are a tight ass." Rachel said, to Raquel.  
"What?! I am not a tight ass." Raquel said, with disgust.  
"Oh, yeesss you ares. You ands your hair up tight, and your glasses. Oh and may I talk about that outfit. Why does your date seem like a funeral to you?" Rachel said, standing up and taking another drink of her wine.  
"Ugh! You know what? I think that you are one of the most selfish people I have ever met in my life. I have listened to you talk about your wedding you ran out on, your break up with this Ross person, and how you are having trouble finding love. Well you know what? You don't know what love is. You fall for someone and expect them to take over the role as your father. You want everyone to wait on you hand and foot. You may feel like you're not selfish, but you are. And frankly, I think that you and this Ross person were on a break."  
Rachels eyes started to swell up. She was drunk, but she could comprehend what Raquel was saying. She couldn't stand to hear the truth, or what sounded like it.  
"Come on Joey, lets leave." Raquel said.  
"I think I'm gonna stay." Joey said. Joey got up and went over to a crying Rachel, and hugged her.  
"Fine! Joel, are you coming?" Raquel said.  
"Sure." Joel said. "Bye Rach." Joel winked at her goodbye.  
Joel and Raquel left.  
"Are you okay?" Joey said.  
"Yeah. I'm fine." Rachel said, through sniffling.  
"Let's get you home." Joey said.  
Joey was holding a drunk Rachel in his arm.  
  
Monica and Chandler had been sitting down waiting for about an hour for Ross and Elaine.  
"Where are they? My lasagnas getting cold." Monica said, sitting at the dinner table.  
"Well, if we had dinner yesterday, instead of the whole grocery fiasco, we would've had room in the fridge to put the lasagna in it." Chandler said.  
"Wow..." Monica said.  
"What?"  
"That made no sense."  
At that moment, Phoebe came in the door. She had the remote in her jacket pocket and the pamphlet as well.  
"Hey." Phoebe said  
"Hey." Monica and Chandler replied.  
"Where are Ross and Elaine?" Phoebe questioned.  
"I don't know. We tried calling them at Ross' place, but there's no answer." Monica said.  
"Maybe my magical remote can help you find them." Phoebe said, pulling out her remote.  
"I'm sorry Pheebs, but Joey is the TV star, not Ross." Chandler said.  
"No, Mr. Wrong Pants. This is a remote that tells you what people are thinking. It's totally illegal but fun." Phoebe said. "All you have to do is figure out the persons channel and then you press 'Enter.' See watch." Phoebe presses 19.  
'God, this is stupid. Oh, a remote control that tells you what people are thinking. I wish I could turn back time to see if Jill Goodacre had feelings for me.' Chandler's voiceover said.  
"Chandler!" Monica said.  
"What? It was just a test." Chandler said. Monica gave him a glare. Chandler made his way to the main bedroom. Monica got up to put the dinner away.  
"Uh, I think I'm gonna go take a nap." Phoebe said, she started to head towards the guest bedroom.  
"Oh god, someones coming." Ross said, he and Elaine, crawled under the bed, as Phoebe came in, shut the door and lied on the bed.  
"What are we gonna do?" Elaine said, quietly.  
"We're just gonna have to sneak out." Ross said. He crawled out from under the bed, and opened the door slightly. He noticed Chandler wasn't in the room, but Monica was still in the kitchen.  
"OW!" Chandler yelled from the bedroom.  
"What is it?" Monica said, from the kitchen.  
"I think I just got a splinter from the treasure chest. Oh yeah....its a big one." Chandler said, in some pain.  
"Let me get my first aid kit." Monica went into the bathroom.  
"Okay all clear." Ross said. He and Elaine were making their way out. Monica came out of the bathroom, and Ross and Elaine quickly got down on the side of the couch. Monica then walked into the bedroom to assist Chandler. Ross and Elaine quickly made a beeline for the door.  
Seconds later, Monica came out with some blood soaked tissues.  
"Ugh! I've got to take the garbage out." Monica said.  
"Aww honey. We share other fluids." Chandler said. Monica stared at him, in confusion. "But of course blood is gross, I don't know why you would like blood. Blehuk!" Chandler said, making a face.  
  
Joey and Rachel came up the stairs to their apartment.  
"I can't believes that you, you, had to take allllll those karatay classes to beat Randall up on the show." Rachel said, laughing, while half drunk.  
"Yeah, I don't have many moves left, but the belts good to show off to the ladies." Joey said, not realizing he was coming on to Rachel.  
'Is he coming on to me?' Rachel thought. 'That's nice.'  
"Rach, are you okay? You look like you've lost it." Joey said, joking.  
"No. I'm not lost. I feel found." Rachel said, looking up at Joey.  
Rachel and Joey stared at each other. They felt something going on. The space between them was very small.  
'I feel so close to her, yet so far away.' Joey thought. 'I'm a fool if I don't kiss her.'  
'What's going on? Where's the kiss?' Rachel thought, half drunk.  
At that moment, Monica came out with a big, black garbage bag.  
"Hey, you two. How'd your dates go?" Monica said, standing next to Rachel.  
Rachel felt like she was going to throw up. She opened the garbage bag and threw up in it.  
'Oh great Rach! So fucking smooth! What next, you're gonna start humping is leg?' Rachel thought, yelling at herself. Rachel leaned her head on Joey's arm, and started to fall asleep.  
"I guess she had a rought night." Monica said, staring at the contents in the garbage.  
"Yeah. I'll explain more tommorow morning. G'night." Joey said, to Monica.  
"'Night." Monica said, proceeding to the stairs.  
Joey picked up Rachel and took her to her room. He laid her down on her bed. She moved a little to get comfortable on the bed. Joey placed a blanket over her.  
'She's still beautiful, even in her worst hour.' Joey said.  
Joey kissed Rachel on her forehead, and shut the door to her room. **************************************************************************** **** A/N: I know! I know! Not the greatest of chapters, but I was going through some stuff. I really need reviews for this one. I hope it wasn't too disappointing. I promise a few chapters from now, the torture will be over. Remember nothing comes easy. Please read and review!! 


	8. TOW The Thanksgiving Confusion

A/N: Okay. I'm so so so so sorry that I haven't updated in a LOOOOOOOOONG TIME. I WAS ON A BREAK!*giggle* I have been busy with school and I had lost my inspiration for a while. I have also been thinking about my next project as a fan fiction writer. Okay, this chapter is a Thanksgiving episode, and lots of things happen here.  
  
My next project is Bright Lights. It is different then this and is an AU fanfic. And obviously, Joey and Rachel related. Don't judge the entire story by my first chapter. I wanted to say that here because more people had read this story then the other one.  
  
And thanks to Rose for a detail, (or two) in this chapter.  
  
Hope you all enjoy. Happy Thanksgiving...in the Friends world. From, Yours Truly. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"I can't believe you didn't buy a turkey." Joey exclaimed to Monica.  
"I'm sorry. I got all caught up with the wedding, that by the time I went to the store, they were all gone." Monica said, trying to explain.  
"Now my turkey is having fun in someone elses stomach." Joey said.  
"And by 'fun', he means being tossed around and being dissolved inside an endless amount of fluids." Chandler said, sitting on the couch, reading the daily newspaper.  
"How can stores just run out of turkey on Thanksgiving?" Joey said, frustrated.  
"Well, turkey just isn't something they use on Thanksgiving anymore, so they sell less of it." Chandler said, sarcastically.  
"How do you know all of that?" Joey said, amazed.  
Ross came in with a bottle of wine.  
"Hey! Happy Thanksgiving!" Ross said, putting the wine bottle down. "Can't wait to eat some turkey." Rubbing his hands together.  
"Nope! We're not having turkey." Joey said, angrily, with his hands on his hips.  
"Why not?" Ross said, as he was taking off his coat.  
"Because a certain someone had another thing to do, and now certain people, can't have a certain type of delicious animal for a certain holiday." Joey said.  
"Are you certain about that?" Chandler said, looking over his shoulder on the couch.  
"Listen, I'm sorry that I didn't get the turkey. But..." Monica said, her voice trailing off as she went to the stove. "I did get another type of turkey." Monica placed the other turkey on the table. Ross, Chandler, and Joey all stared at the turkey Monica bought home.  
"What is it?" Ross asked.  
"It's a vegetarian turkey called Quorn! A friend at work was telling me all about it. She said that it doesn't make you as sleepy as regular turkey does." Monica said.  
"The turkey was eaten by vegetables." Chandler said.  
"Turkey is turkey, and that is not turkey." Joey said  
"Oh come on guys. Now Phoebe can join us." Monica said  
"Join you for what?" Phoebe asked as she was entering the apartment.  
"Oh. I brought home a vegetarian turkey for Thanksgiving."  
"Oh! Really? I don't eat that."  
"Why not? There are no meat products in it."  
"I know, its just that, the vegetarian turkey has the same spirit and shape to it as a regular turkey does. If I eat it, I would feel like I am eating the turkey's spirit."  
Rachel comes into the apartment.  
"Hey Everyone!" Rachel says all happy.  
"Hey Rach, would you eat a vegetarian turkey?" Monica said as she placed the turkey in the oven.  
"Um, sure." Rachel said. "I have a question for you guys. Is it okay that Joel can come over for Thanksgiving?"  
"Sure/not a problem." Everyone but Joey said.  
'She's still going out with him?' Joey thought to himself. 'I can't deal with this, its like I have someone shoving vegetarian turkey down my throat.'  
Joel walks in to the apartment.  
"Joel you've met everyone. Oh! You haven't met Ross." Rachel said, bringing Joel over to Ross.  
Ross starts taking out the silverware from the kitchen drawer, not looking at Joel.  
"Ross?" Rachel said. "This is Joel."  
Ross turns his head for a second. "Hi." Ross then turns around again, with a fork pointed directly at Joel. Rachel and Joel step back frightened. "Whoa! Sorry about that. Just practicing my drawing skills." Ross does a little gun trick with the fork and places it in his pocket swiftly. Rachel and Joel took a seat at the table.  
"Ross, why are you stealing my silverware? It's bad enough that you keep taking my pink face cloths." Monica said.  
Everyone looked at Ross.  
"I was using it to clean off my watch." Ross said, as he walked towards the bathroom.  
"So Phoebe, how is the psychic business going?" Joey asked, standing up from his seat at the table, trying to take his mind off of Rachel.  
"It's going very good. In fact, I may have an easier way to contact spirits."  
"Really? How?"  
"Well, this guy gave me this remote control." Phoebe said, showing Joey the remote control.  
"Uh, Pheebs, how is watching TV going to help you talk to spirits?" Joey asked.  
"No, this remote control helps you figure out what people are thinking. All you do is point it at someon, hit the right button, and you can open up a whole new world of crazy, that only you can hear."  
"Oh. So I could figure out whether or not someone ate my brownies yesterday?"  
"Yes...but why would you want to do that?" Phoebe said, a little nervous, placing the remote control on the living room table. And walking into the guest room.  
"Hey Joe, can you keep these desserts over at your place?" Monica said, handing Joey two apple pies, two chocolate pies, and one pumpkin pie.  
Joey gave a little laugh.  
"What?" Monica asked.  
"That time again." Joey said, smiling.  
"No it's not! I'll bet you!" Monica said, angrily.  
"First of all, remember what happened last time we bet? And second of all....EWWW!" Joey said opening the door, and leaving.  
  
Ross comes out of the bathroom, and sits down on the couch.  
"You know, dinosaurs actually prefer to--"  
"I've had one depressing Thanksgiving, Ross. I don't need another one." Chandler said, getting up from the couch, and going into his bedroom.  
Ross picks up the remote control on the table. Ross tries to turn on the TV with the remote, but it won't go.  
"Mon, your remote control isn't working." Ross said, trying to click it on.  
"So switch the batteries." Monica said, taking out some silverware.  
Ross goes over to the kitchen drawer to switch the batteries. Ross goes back to the couch and tries to turn the TV on again, but it won't go.  
"Mon, it's still not going." Ross said frustrated.  
"Ross, you're the scientist. You figure it out." Monica said.  
"Fine I will!" Ross shouted. Ross kept pushing all the buttons and it wouldn't go.  
Phoebe enters the room, and Ross hears a voice.  
'Wow. I can't believe I can do that. I can make a new song using only the sound of my shoes.' Phoebes thoughts spoke out loud, and only being heard in Ross' head.  
"Where is that voice coming from?" Ross said, confused.  
Joey enters the apartment.  
'Poor baby needs some loving. I wish I could be with him. Maybe I can help.' Phoebe's thoughts said out loud, and only being heard by Ross'.  
"Oh my God!" Ross said, standing up excitedly.  
'What's up with Ross? He hasn't been this excited since Playdoh made prehistoric dinosaur sets.' Phoebe's thoughts spoke.  
Ross was never the one to like gossip, but her found something out that he couldn't pass up on. 'Phoebe likes Joey!' Ross thought. 'This is huge, this is exciting, this is so amazing...Why am I such a girl?" Ross thought.  
  
Rachel and Joel have been talking to Monica, as she has been preparing dinner.  
"You know, Mon? Joel is thinking about taking a job in Los Angeles. He was offered a job as the replacement for Dylan McDermott on 'The Practice.'" Rachel said, wrapping one arm around his back and the other on his chest.  
"Uh huh. That's great." Monica said, not looking at them, standing in front of the stove, while stirring the turkey gravy. Rachel and Joel move out of the way.  
"And I hope to make enough money to get my parents a house." Joel said, placing his arm around Rachel's waist.  
"So happy for you, invite me over." Monica said, standing near the sink , mixing the mashed potatoes and yams at the same time. Rachel and Joel move away from the sink, and move towards the peninsula by the door.  
"And I'd like to build a bar in the house, so if I get smashed, I can stumble onto my own couch." Joel said, smiling.  
"Sounds fun." Monica said, carrying the biscuits towards the peninsula. Rachel and Joey stand by the table.  
"And I'd like to buy lots of motorcycles and cars and boats--" Joel said.  
"You know what's another form of transportation? Feet!" Monica said, pushing Rachel and Joel apart, as she places the turkey on the table. "Dinners ready!" Monica shouts.  
Everyone takes a seat, and Chandler comes out of the bedroom.  
Ross takes the bowl of mashed potatoes and starts to giggle towards Phoebe.  
"What?"Phoebe said.  
"Oh nothing." Ross said. Giggling again.  
"Ross, its not funny to hog the mashed potatoes, man." Joey said.  
"Oh sorry." Ross said, giving a smile.  
Joey finished using the mashed potatoes and handed them to Phoebe, Phoebe gave Joey a little smile.  
"Oh how cute." Ross said, to Phoebe.  
"Hey Ross. Don't you have too much food on your plate? I mean, you wouldn't want to not fit in your hot pants." Chandler said.  
  
"Hey Joey, can you pass me the yams?" Rachel said, to Joey. Joey passed her the yams.  
'I can't believe that he's okay with this. Joel and me. Is it not plain to see that I am madly in love with him? That I'm in fact, dating someone like him? I swear, I could date the exact opposite person as him, and he would notice that more.' Rachel thought.  
'Man this is so hard. I can't sit in the same room as him. He's with the woman I'm in love with. Does she not see me suffering?' Joey thought.  
  
Monica looked around everyones plate and noticed that she is the only one who had taken a piece of the Quorns Roast.  
"Why isn't anyone eating the turkey?" Monica said.  
"Honey, its not turkey. It's like an ice sculpture of one of those swans. Only we have vegetables in the shape of a turkey." Chandler said.  
"Sweetie, if you eat some of this turkey, I will..." Monica whispers something into his ear.  
Chandler pauses, and then grabs some pieces of turkey and eats a piece.  
"Wow. This ain't half bad!" Chandler said, munching loudly.  
"Let me see." Joey said, taking a piece, and starts to eat it.  
"Well?" Monica said.  
"I don't know. Let me try another one." Joey said.  
Everyone took a piece of meat. Everyone is really enjoying the turkey,except Phoebe  
"This is the best fake meat ever!" Joel exclaimed.  
  
After dinner everyone was waiting around to for dessert. Ross can still hear Phoebe's thoughts.  
'I want to get close to him. And rub my massaging oil all over him in places my own thoughts can't discuss.' Phoebe's thoughts said.  
"Okay I can't take this anymore." Ross said. standing up from the couch. Ross headed over to Joey, who was sitting at the kitchen table. "Hey, Joe, can I talk to you for a second?"  
"Sure." Joey said, Ross and Joey went over by the TV. "What's up?"  
"Well....I think I know someone who has a crush on you." Ross said, happy to discuss it.  
"Really? She does?" Joey said, completley extatic.  
"You mean you know that she likes you?" Ross said.  
"Yeah, I mean I can tell. Especially since I went to the psychic place with her."  
"You've known that long? Why aren't you two together then?"  
"Well, she's seeing someone else." Joey said, sadly.  
"Phoebe is seeing someone?"  
"Well--Phoebe? I wasn't talking about Phoebe."  
"Then who were you talking about?" Ross said.  
"Um....well...this girl I know at work."  
"Oh."  
"But, Phoebe likes me?" Joey asked  
"Yeah, she kind of told me."  
"Wow...what should I tell her?"  
"Let her down easy. I mean, she seems to have been thinking about it alot." Ross said  
  
A few minutes later, Joey approached Phoebe.  
"Um, Phoebe, can I talk to you?" Joey said  
"Okay." Phoebe said. They both walked towards the secret closet area.  
"Phoebe, I don't know how to say this, but I know about your feelings."  
"Really? It's obvious?"  
"Well, not really, but I heard about it."  
"Oh. Well, can you keep it a secret?"  
"Um, Pheebs, the person you like in question is standing in this room."  
"I know that. But can you keep it a secret."  
"Pheebs, I heard that you like someone that is within 2 feet of you."  
  
Phoebe looks at Joel sitting in the chair by the window.  
"I don't like Joel. He's awfully attractive, but no."  
"Phoebe, I heard that you like me."  
"Oh. Well I don't like you.... I mean in that way."  
"Oh...but you do like someone. So who is it?"  
"Oh its this guy."  
"What's his name?"  
"Um....Riss."  
"Riss?"  
"Yeah, its short for Risstopher."  
"So you don't like me?"  
"No, sorry sweetie, I just don't think we'd mesh well."  
"Me neither. I used to think so, but now that I heard you like guys with weird names, I don't see a chance."  
"I know, but you'll get your chance with someone else."  
'If only that someone else knew that too.' Joey thought.  
  
Dessert was finally served a few minutes later.  
Joey brought the pies over from his and Rachels place.  
"Okay everyone. I know how all of you like regular milk with your coffee, but..." Monica said trailing off to the fridge. "I decided to by Soy milk for a change."  
Everyone groaned.  
"Phoebe, I thought you like soy milk." Monica said  
"No, Soy milk has the same color as regular milk, and I'd feel weird drinking it." Phoebe said.  
"I'm sorry guys, I thought it would be interesting for us to try something healthy." Monicasaid.  
"I mean, Soy milk. 'Yo soy Soy milk.'" Chandler said.  
"Chandler, if you drink some of it..." Monica whispered into Chandler's ear  
"Bring on the fake milk!" Chandler exclaimed.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --- A/N: And thats Chapter 8.... I hope all of you like it. There wasn't much JnR in this one, but I promise a big chapter with them VERY SOON....And also, I don't know if you can tell a little relationship triangle about to begin..(If you don't, thats okay, I haven't fully developed it yet). Anyway, I appreciate reviews. SO THANKS! and I WAS ON A BREAK! *couldn't resist* 


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